Christmas 2019 is now in the past and we are 1 day away from a new decade. Gosh, a new decade. Can you remember when you were in high school and even trying to imagine living in the 2000s was hard? I do! We imagined ourselves SO OLD when we reached these years on the calendar, but look at us…we’re not old!(ahem)
This Christmas was a good one for us in many ways and also, like so many, it was a hard one. This was the first Christmas since my friend Shirley’s passing and I thought of her so often during the holidays. I covered my Christmas tree in all of the red ornaments she had given me and everytime I looked at it I thought of her. It was also another Christmas without my mom and so many other loved ones who are no longer here. My friends and community also lost loved ones and it is so hard to see them go through so much heartache.
But it was also a wonderful Christmas with all our children and new grandbaby spending the night with us on Christmas Eve and then spending the day of Christmas Day. We were so blessed to have this time with them, as each year can be a different plan as they try to schedule their times with their in-laws and extended families. (all of you empty nesters with married children know what I mean).
I think it is the traditions that we have loved for so long and the things we do every year that cause us to stumble sometimes though. I know it has for me. I am steeped in my love of traditions with my family. “It’s how we have always done it”. Changing them even a smidge is like tearing a page from the memory book for me. But I am learning (with much prayer and the help of my friends who have gone down this path before me) that being flexible and gracious is a gift that we can give our children. If you are like me it is a sacrificial gift lol! But it is a gift that can take the stress and burden from our children who have to try to make everyone’s schedule and traditions work. I will admit I have not reached perfection with this particular gift, but I am sure trying as I know my daughters’ in-laws are as well.
Our pastor recently preached a Christmas sermon that was a little different than a typical and traditional Christmas sermon, but it struck me. Maybe it is just where I am right now in my life. (You know when you are sure the preacher is preaching to only you?) But it caused to me think about how we almost establish traditions of things like unforgiveness and also feelings of hopelessness. Sometimes we fall into ways of thinking because that’s how we have done it for so long and those traditions cause us to stumble as well.
The pastor preached on Christmas being about forgiveness and reunion. Jesus came as a baby and brought forgiveness for our sins. Even as we continue to fall short each day, He knows us, understands our heart, and offers the same forgiveness to us as we struggle to do a little better today than we did yesterday. But you know the part that makes you gulp is when you are reminded that He expects us to forgive as freely. Gulp.
He expects us to forgive even when those who have hurt us are not sorry. Gulp.
He expects us to forgive even when those who hurt us keep hurting us over and over again. Gulp. Gulp.
He forgives us as we go about our lives and never seem sorry for what we know are our wrongdoings. He forgives us when we fail and keep doing those things over and over. And He expects the same from us.
I admit I struggle with this. There are people in my life that have caused pain and disappointment. Over and over. It is hard to forgive someone who never says they are sorry. Who never admits they have hurt you. But just as we have been offered forgiveness, we must offer it.
I set my heart’s goal this year to pray for those who have hurt me. That’s tough to begin with. Sometimes when people have hurt or disappointed you don’t want God to bless them. But my prayer simply began as a prayer of saying “God I know you know that this is a tough one for me. But I also know that you have called me to pray for my enemies. To love those that persecute me. And so I am offering this prayer for them. That you bring them to know You. That you break their hearts to know Your love and that their ways will change because of your Love. ”
Of course I also have to pray for God to soften my heart for them. To forgive them in my heart. To pray for God to bless them. It wasn’t easy in the beginning. But gradually I could feel God saying to me “let it go…I’ve got this.”
A baby came at Christmas to save us and to give us the gift of forgiveness so that we can know how to give the gift as well when we needed to. Forgiveness isn’t saying that the other person didn’t hurt, or even continue to hurt you, but it does allow you to let it go and stop being at war with someone who usually isn’t even aware there is a fight.
And Christmas is a reminder that He came as a baby to offer us the hope of reunion. Reunion with Him. Reunion with our loved ones. Our family has suffered loss this year and we have suffered with other friends and family who have also suffered loss. It leaves a gaping hole in your heart that you can’t imagine will ever be filled. But that hope of reunion with our loved ones in heaven is what can help to fill that wound.
That hope that we have that Jesus is not only with us here as we walk on earth with our hurts and sorrows and despairs as our Peace Giver. But He is also in heaven with our loved ones preparing a place and a time for us to join them. That Hope of Reunion is a true gift of Christmas and the New Year.
As we all ready ourselves to ring in the New Year, I am always reminded of the New Year’s Eve that changed our lives. December 31, 1997 our little family rang in the New Year with my husband Jack receiving an IV of lifegiving bone marrow from a donor we had never met (But who is now an adopted part of our family) in the hope that it would cure his leukemia.
God gave us a gift that year and each year that has followed. And we never forget that miracles do happen, in all types of ways and in all types of places. Sometimes they weren’t the miracle we prayed for, but the miracle that was in His time and His way.
So as we ring in the New Year I pray for each of us the gift of forgiveness and the hope of reunion. May we be reminded daily of these gifts and offer them to others throughout the year. And may we never forget that miracles happen every day.
Happy New Year. Happy New Decade!
